February 2012
13 posts
Feb 10th
Feb 9th
28 notes
Lucas Klauss: Songs Brendan ruined →
lucasklauss: “What I Like About Brendan” by The Romantics “With or Without Brendan” by U2 “All You Need is Brendan” by The Beatles “Someone Like Brendan” by Adele “Single Ladies (Put a Brendan On It)” by Beyonce “Brendan Jean” by Michael Jackson “Total Eclipse of the Brendan” by Bonnie Tyler “Like a Bat…
Feb 9th
1 note
“Never look down and tip well.”
– Parent of twins advice to eating out with kids.
Feb 7th
1 note
What's the trick
to cutting a flipping scallion so the end result doesn’t look like the molted snake skin? UPDATE WITH VIEWER ANSWERS: 1. wait until the flipping stops 2. get a sharper knife. duh.
Feb 5th
ListenStep On the Gas - Bill Hicks
Feb 5th
“Real love amounts to withholding the truth, even when you’re offered the...”
– David Sedaris, “The End of the Affair”
Feb 4th
Feb 4th
11 notes
Feb 2nd
1 note
NYC Bike Share: Suggest a Station →
A yearly membership costs $100 though rides shorter than half an hour are free There will be 10,000 bikes in 600 locations Users can check bike availability with forthcoming informative apps Users just swipe a card at the solar powered system and it unlocks the bike Bikes can be returned to any station, making single rides and short rides easy The first stations will be located around...
Feb 2nd
1 note
Feb 2nd
3 notes
Heartless Bastards "Arrow" streaming on NPR →
Feb 2nd
1 note
Feb 2nd
1 note
January 2012
15 posts
Jan 31st
Jan 24th
194 notes
Jan 21st
39 notes
Jan 21st
2 notes
Jan 18th
4,186 notes
Loosen Any Knot →
Jan 17th
2 notes
Jan 17th
3 notes
Jan 16th
6 notes
Update for Ellen
Things That Make Georgia Laugh Stuffing socks into Daddy’s mouth Drinking - and then choking on - bubble bath from a lima bean-shaped bath toy Stepping on Josie’s face Things That Make Josie Laugh You Me This That Up Down Mommy’s bellybutton
Jan 16th
3 notes
“New Wes Anderson Movie ‘Moonrise Kingdom’ Looks Like a Wes Anderson Movie”
– Daily Trailer
Jan 13th
2 notes
Jan 8th
2 notes
Eureka
aaron: i figured out how to get into the water
me: you mean instead of using a water prosthetic?
aaron: yeah
me: a wheel barrel?
aaron: close
me: have someone drag you on a tarp?
aaron: (incredulous) no!
me: [waiting]
aaron: have someone give me a piggyback ride
me: like georgia?
aaron: [incredulous] no! Like josh!
me: [waiting]
aaron: someone big and strong. tara's boyfriend would be ideal
Jan 4th
4 notes
Jan 4th
3 notes
“Fuck that.”
– Aaron, to me, accompanying by the only scoff I’ve ever heard from him, after I said I wanted our girls to say Yes, Sir and M’am.
Jan 3rd
5 notes
so aaron has a friend who, at their graduate program end of year megathon reading, read, instead of five minutes from “a forthcoming novel”, a list of unrealized story ideas. one of them was something like, “a girl who only refers to her mom as ‘the mother’.” i can’t stop laughing.
Jan 1st
2 notes
December 2011
31 posts
Dec 30th
1,179 notes
“a dolphin”
– aaron, to me, answering the question of what josie was in a previous life
Dec 30th
3 notes
Dec 30th
5 notes
Aaron and I are playing this game
To keep your leg, would you chop off the big toe of your twenty closest friends and family (including the girls)? Aaron: No. Gabe: Yes. To keep your leg, would you change your ethnicity? Aaron: No. Gabe: No.
Dec 28th
3 notes
Meh
so we saw THE DESCENDENTS and it was like, okay. About 35 minutes inaron wanted to leave and sneak into, i don’t know, HAPPY FEET TWO, but I made him stay so I could pilfer anything decent for my teen tragedy novel, TK. Turns out I had already thought of the one decent thing so we could have left.
Dec 26th
6 notes
Meaningful Glances
it’s sortof grotesque to go to the movies with me and Aaron now. Every third thing that happens we give each other these deep, soulful stares that either mean, “just like our JOSIE” or “You almost died in the WATER.” jesus, people, moveon.org, already.
Dec 26th
6 notes
Dec 25th
“For Georgia, mamma was quickly replaced by a spoon. For Josie, mamma was quickly...”
– Aaron’s dad, to Aaron, after we left the babies at Grandma & Grandpa flag’s for the day.
Dec 25th
“How will you know it’s Western?”
– Aaron’s mom, to Aaron, after he said, “ima get a brown Western suit, an wear it every day.”
Dec 24th
Dec 24th
1 note
Dec 22nd
20 notes
Dec 22nd
Dec 22nd
1 note
the only thing on our wish list →
Dec 21st
“If you don’t like something, we’ve definitely talked about it.”
– Aaron, to me, after I inquired whether we had discussed In-N-Out fries and my dismissive attitude toward them.
Dec 20th
3 notes
3 tags
Horse Piano
The idea is to get a horse, a Central park workhorse. A horse who lives in a city, over in the hell part of Hell’s Kitchen, in a big metal tent. You have to get one who is dying. Maybe you get his last day on the job, his owner, his tourists. You get his walk back home at the end of the day, some flies, some droll. You get his deathbed, maybe. And then, post mortem, still warm, you...
Dec 19th
2 notes
around about this time last year →
Dec 13th
The menu the babies think they are ordering from looks something like this: something green to smear on mamma’s arm something red to grind into the floor something pasty to rub in sister’s ear
Dec 12th
Back to Back
The babies where being monsters this morning, howling and clawing at each other to get to pole position in the mom lap. Then they showed an unprecedented unreasonable streak over who got to put more of their boogery little fingers into the tiny bowl of frozen bananas. So I ditched their asses and did a few chores elsewhere. When I came back, all was quite murmurs and coos: the two of them...
Dec 12th
2 notes
Dec 11th
2 notes
“Is that just for looks?”
– A nice guy in our building to Aaron, joking-like, seeing him with one crutch. Aaron then blew his mind by pulling up his right pant leg.
Dec 10th
Dec 10th
1 note