January 2012
14 posts
Loosen Any Knot →
Update for Ellen
Things That Make Georgia Laugh
Stuffing socks into Daddy’s mouth
Drinking - and then choking on - bubble bath from a lima bean-shaped bath toy
Stepping on Josie’s face
Things That Make Josie Laugh
You
Me
This
That
Up
Down
Mommy’s bellybutton
“New Wes Anderson Movie ‘Moonrise Kingdom’ Looks Like a Wes Anderson Movie”
– Daily Trailer
Eureka
aaron: i figured out how to get into the water
me: you mean instead of using a water prosthetic?
aaron: yeah
me: a wheel barrel?
aaron: close
me: have someone drag you on a tarp?
aaron: (incredulous) no!
me: [waiting]
aaron: have someone give me a piggyback ride
me: like georgia?
aaron: [incredulous] no! Like josh!
me: [waiting]
aaron: someone big and strong. tara's boyfriend would be ideal
“Fuck that.”
– Aaron, to me, accompanying by the only scoff I’ve ever heard from him, after I said I wanted our girls to say Yes, Sir and M’am.
so aaron has a friend who, at their graduate program end of year megathon reading, read, instead of five minutes from “a forthcoming novel”, a list of unrealized story ideas.
one of them was something like, “a girl who only refers to her mom as ‘the mother’.”
i can’t stop laughing.
December 2011
31 posts
“a dolphin”
– aaron, to me, answering the question of what josie was in a previous life
Aaron and I are playing this game
To keep your leg, would you chop off the big toe of your twenty closest friends and family (including the girls)?
Aaron: No.
Gabe: Yes.
To keep your leg, would you change your ethnicity?
Aaron: No.
Gabe: No.
Meh
so we saw THE DESCENDENTS and it was like, okay. About 35 minutes inaron wanted to leave and sneak into, i don’t know, HAPPY FEET TWO, but I made him stay so I could pilfer anything decent for my teen tragedy novel, TK.
Turns out I had already thought of the one decent thing so we could have left.
Meaningful Glances
it’s sortof grotesque to go to the movies with me and Aaron now. Every third thing that happens we give each other these deep, soulful stares that either mean, “just like our JOSIE” or “You almost died in the WATER.” jesus, people, moveon.org, already.
“For Georgia, mamma was quickly replaced by a spoon. For Josie, mamma was quickly...”
– Aaron’s dad, to Aaron, after we left the babies at Grandma & Grandpa flag’s for the day.
“How will you know it’s Western?”
– Aaron’s mom, to Aaron, after he said, “ima get a brown Western suit, an wear it every day.”
the only thing on our wish list →
“If you don’t like something, we’ve definitely talked about it.”
– Aaron, to me, after I inquired whether we had discussed In-N-Out fries and my dismissive attitude toward them.
3 tags
Horse Piano
The idea is to get a horse, a Central park workhorse.
A horse who lives in a city, over in the hell part of Hell’s Kitchen, in a big metal tent.
You have to get one who is dying.
Maybe you get his last day on the job, his owner, his tourists.
You get his walk back home at the end of the day,
some flies, some droll. You get his deathbed, maybe.
And then, post mortem, still warm, you...
around about this time last year →
The menu the babies think they are ordering from looks something like this:
something green to smear on mamma’s arm
something red to grind into the floor
something pasty to rub in sister’s ear
Back to Back
The babies where being monsters this morning, howling and clawing at each other to get to pole position in the mom lap. Then they showed an unprecedented unreasonable streak over who got to put more of their boogery little fingers into the tiny bowl of frozen bananas.
So I ditched their asses and did a few chores elsewhere.
When I came back, all was quite murmurs and coos: the two of them...
“Is that just for looks?”
– A nice guy in our building to Aaron, joking-like, seeing him with one crutch.
Aaron then blew his mind by pulling up his right pant leg.
Bulkhead
We’re planning our December trip to see Grandma & Grandpa Flag, Grandma & Grandpa Tucson, and Aaron’s Scottsdale Gamma (which is sure to be the most quotable part of our holidays). Those who know me don’t need a blog to tell you that I’ve never taken the MCATS, but even without that firsthand experience I feel confident in the bet that the prep for each is about...
Teen Gets Probation For Little Paw Paw Lake Boat...
Joe Garber Reporting
17 year old Jacob Rindler of Indiana will face two years of probation for a boating accident that occurred July 17th on Little Paw Paw Lake. The Herald Palladium reports that Berrien County Trial Court Judge Gary Bruce sentenced Rindler to 200 hours of community service, he must avoid alcohol and drugs, and following a curfew. Rindler was driving a 17 foot power boat...
“Did it come with a light saber, or is that a 3rd party thing?”
– what my dad asked about aaron’s new leg
I'm too shy to call in to the CBC so I'll just...
i love everything PleaseDon’tSquueze posts but for some reason THIS is the message I will repost to the world!
pleasedontsqueezetheshaman:
The best way for schools to discourage students from wearing tight yoga pants is to have the teachers start wearing bike shorts.
WatchMother Ef.
Tim said he can always tell a prosthetic wearer because they forget what to do with their arms.
Proud to Cry
Watching Aaron walk at PT with his new leg. Amazing.
November 2011
45 posts
Who Choses these Questions, Anyway?
Our pediatrician always manages to take the wind out of my sails at our well visits by asking something absurdly milestone related, like
“And is Josie saying any complete words yet?”
Well, NO, but a guy on the street gave her a dollar because she had such a big smile!
Or, “Will Georgia follow directions if you ask her to go fetch a diaper?”
First of all, am I...
Boating accident leads to conviction
By SCOTT AIKEN - H-P Staff Writer
Published: Tuesday, November 29, 2011 1:06 PM EST
ST. JOSEPH - An Indiana youth who was operating a motor boat that struck and critically injured a kayaker on Little Paw Paw Lake was sentenced Monday to two years on probation under a law that allows him to avoid having a criminal record. Jacob Rindler, 17, of Noblesville pleaded guilty in Berrien County...
“Ceresa said Balkan, who has two young sons, did not want to see a jail sentence...”
– Herald Palladium
UG! The story is WAY more sadder if you say he has twin baby girls, not dumb old young sons.
